A LETTER TO THE GIRL I USED TOBE

 When you turned 16 was the 1st time you said out loud 

you wouldn't want to live anymore

In therapy you said you'd never make it by 21

On my 21st birthday i thought about you

& you were right

My Parents never told me about you

Its as if you existed only as the initials to my name

I know they named you Emmah

Not because i was introduced to you

But because each time i remember myself

Your name comes first

You were not scared of putting on short skirts

and walking with skirts with long slits no

You were just afraid of what boys would do to you

And also afraid that the girl you wore them for

has never noticed you

Emmah, 

My Name is Kinaya. 

I know we have never met yet

But this is who they replaced you with, 

Me. 

They never talk about you

We were having dinner on Tuesday someone said Emmah, 

.... 

It was silent like the grave they put you in

and no one knows about it

Nobody talked of You Emmah

No one was allowed to

My brother brought it out during dinner as he was mentioning

his teachers' names from school

I guess thats why on Wednesday, 

My brother woke up in a different boarding school. 

I was you, 

They changed you because they wanted a child

they'd not be ashamed of

Truth is, 

I didn't turn out fine

And i hate myself

Sometimes i wish i remained you

I have bits of you in myself

Your passion is my aggression 

Your success my predicaments 

Your eyes are my blind side

Thats how i get stabbed in the back

For not watching my back

That how similar we are

No One is there to watch our back

#ThePhenomwillrise™️

#Poetry